Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
