you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
