pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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