i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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