she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
