Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
