Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
