I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You are a genius and a whore.
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