remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
