I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
