she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
40s are totally the cure
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
