MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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