scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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