sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
send nudes
from the living room?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
