I cockslap morals
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
