We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
