so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
