i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
