I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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