Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
