i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
