I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize