Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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