real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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