i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
where does the pee come out of this thing
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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