well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
