Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
