Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize