1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
