You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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