he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize