Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
