I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
