you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
