I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
