Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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