I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
