Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
