I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
