I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
