I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
