he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
