Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
