Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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