I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
