i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
