Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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