I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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