I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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