haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
