am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize