Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Randomize
