I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
