drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
