i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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