I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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