I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
These tits shall not be calmed
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
