Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
