Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
