he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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