At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I need mimosas to revive my soul
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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