I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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