i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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