We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Holy sore nipples Batman
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
