ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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