$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
