No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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