I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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