we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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