I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
