I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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