It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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