Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
