if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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