her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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