I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize