Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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