TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
