i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
