Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
