you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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